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“People are becoming better and better at less and less, soon they shall be superb at nothing”

Let’s be honest shall we? Everyone hates someone sometime. I hate lots of people lots of the time, I’m just one of life’s whingers. I know this, I’ve come to terms with it, and I have moved on as much as a whinger can. BUT one particular person is causing me to want to punch them a little more in the face with every passing day.

Eventually my fist will come for your face.

Before I go into the face-punch-urge inducer, a quick side note about the title, I cribbed it from Kenneth Williams. It does however accurately reflect my feeling on pretty much every profession though, so HA! Back to the main event.

Yesterday K2 told me that this Friday I would be making a presentation about our company to our 3 heads of staff. Bearing in mind, she wants this to be a half hour-long presentation with PowerPoint. Now to give a small frame of reference, I am responsible for every query which passes through the floodgates of the e-mail system. I’m currently doing a deep in-depth piece of research for a company that wants to import rugs from here (the reasons for which I cannot comprehend, as far as I know this country has no rug making history that I am aware of). Which makes my job tricky, because I get to be the chick who calls up saying “Hi, so do you make your own rugs or are you just the vendor, I really need a rug-maker, tell me your sources!” Believe it or not, the amount of rug munching jokes doesn’t get funnier the more you hear it, nor do the chat-up lines that go “you sound sexy, I know you’re looking for rugs but how about a date?’. To the man who asked me this, is it that your mother hugged you too much or not enough?

"It's true!!! I treat women badly due to my typically tragic childhood, how did you know??"

Yeah so my week is joyously filled with wall-to-wall carpet info. As well as the 2 conferences I’m organizing. Heaven’s to Betsy, forgot to mention that while organizing these two conferences my boss also wanted me to work out who was cheapest. So I called around every hotel, conference hall, auditorium, theatre and social club which would meet the needs of our company (of which there are many). And discovered about 4 places cheaper than the current one we use. Having compiled all this information, such as prices per head for menus, coffee breaks, DVDs of events, lighting, sound systems, translation, rental of equipment, food menu requirements, pricing, location, parking, contact people, and all the other stuff that goes along with it, I imputed it all in an easy to read, easy to access excel sheet (I think I’ve made my disdain of excel known). To which my boss promptly ignored the best options and went with the same place the company has gone to for 10 years. No I do not feel I wasted all my time, just every moment after the initial input of the first company.

The justification I'm given for doing about 60% of my work

I’m also having to learn a lot about import laws. Also some light intellectual property laws, despite saying several times that this company should just contact an attorney, not us.

The worst bit about this Friday presentation? I get writers block every time I try to type up anything I want to say about our company. Looks like it will be a college style presentation, last minute, thrown together, I mumble through it while turning the color of a fire truck.

It is while I am this particular shade of scarlet that I usually pick up kittens, chomp on stogies, and save the world from hell beasts from another dimension


About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

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