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2011/2012

I’m back at work. After an extend stay with the folks. Like everyone else who celebrates the trifecta of misery (Christmas, New Years, and St Valentine’s) I have gained about 10lbs of pure gravy and cookie batter over the holidays. New Year’s resolution this year:

Be awesomer.

Be healthier.

Stop Stress-baking.

Take up a hobby.

Attempt the couch to 5K.

So basically my News Year’s resolutions are lame and predictable.

Predictable is just another way of saying "failure imminent"

Woe is me. Although having said that I am reminded of the curse “May you live in interesting times”. Which we certainly do. Not that I’m going all political/ecological/crazy but we had a LOT of weather in 2011, and most of it wasn’t great. Floods in Australia, and Thailand, Landslides in Colombia, Earthquakes EVERYWHERE, Tsunamis, Tropical storms, Hurricanes. We’ve had one heck of a year for the meteorologists to get wrong on, over and over again.

We’ve lost three dictators, Bin Laden, Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong-Il.

The Middle East is in political and civil turmoil, Syria, Tunisia, Yemen, and Egypt all experiencing what is essentially civil war, with no one mentioning that just in case they catch it too.

Europe is crumbling under economic pressure from its less careful members, and is swinging to the right to find an answer to its political ills.

The US is having another bad case of the election blues, mostly due to the candidates being mendacious, half-witted, disingenuous snake oil peddlers.

The UK had a pointless phase of rioting which harmed small businesses, and solidified the hatred of the police among the rioters, and the hatred of the 12-25 age group among the rest of the population.

Russia is attempting to prove that it too can have an Arab spring, despite the mainstream media blackout.

The (ex-)head of the IMF , Dominique Strauss Kahn, affectionately known as ‘ol rapey face, was accused of sexually assaulting the ugliest woman available to him. Charges were eventually dropped after a brief stint in Rikers.

The Hungarian Leader Victor Orban has decided Hungarians don’t need freedom of the presses or freedom of speech, and is finding new and more oppressive ways to stay in power and hurt any non-right wing party. Orban has also reduced the rights of those who are homosexual, Jewish, Orthodox, Roma, and pretty much any other minority he can see.

On Christmas day  a militant group in Nigeria, called Boko Haram bombed a church because, why the hell not.

And finally the 7 billionth person was born, and the two favourite names of the year (in English speaking countries) were Sophie and Jack…. an improvement on Brandon and Britney which seemed like the names everyone had when I was a kid.

Of course for those In Kentucky, Tennessee and Mississippi that would be Darlene and Duwayne.

Right, so this post has been a little peculiar in that I haven’t really talked about anything in particular.

I have a few predictions for 2012 though. Firstly, the world won’t end. I refuse to take advice from the interpretation of others about the Mayan calendar, having learned about their culture I can safely say “If you predict the downfall of your civilization on a specific day, and then make everyone slaughter yourself it isn’t pre-destiny, it’s stupidity”. Secondly The Mayans predicted the end of their calendar, not the end of the world. Ever wonder why your calendar runs out after a certain amount of time? It’s because it gets boring writing down the same dates over and over again, or you run out of paper.

"Tzequal'tsan! We ran out of slabs to write the calendar so we're just gonna leave it until next week, just remind me to finish it 'k?"

I don’t believe in self-fulfilling crappy logic, so I’m glad to say the world will continue on to 2013. For most of us. Some of us are getting old, and some of us don’t look both ways when we cross, and some of us are just unlucky to have genes which are more susceptible to developing cancer. For the majority however 2013 will occurs.

Prediction number 2, the Avengers movie, and Batman movie will be totally freaking sweet.

Prediction number 3, China will change leaders, and as always it will be a guy exactly like the last guy, yay, I love me some ‘one-party politics’.

Prediction number 4, Kim Jong-Un memes will be all the rage.

Prediction number 5, the unnecessarily savage weather will continue.

Prediction number 6, the Haredi sect in Israel will get more aggressive with its love of segregation, the state will come down on them like a duck on a June-bug.

Prediction number 7, having been given a book on Tea-time and a recipe book purely for muffins, and muffin molds, I shall be instating the tradition of afternoon tea at 6 p.m. when I get home, which will push dinner to 9.30 p.m.

Prediction number 8, all of my New Years resolutions will be broken by mid-February.

Prediction number 9, The Oscars will be all about the Girl With a Dragon Tattoo, War Horse, Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, the Iron Lady, J. Edgar, and any other biopic that they find, The Lone Ranger, and any comic book movie will be left by the wayside along with Prometheus.

Prediction number 10, most of my predictions will not come true, but those that do will more than make up for those that don’t.

"I predict that this energy ball will be OVER 90000!!!!!!!"

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About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

3 responses to “2011/2012

  1. Sita

    I’m all for prediction number 7, and lol-ed around when I read about the Mayan calendar getting boring/running out of paper. So troooo!!

  2. pe4ches

    I will add The Hobbit to your list of awesome movies

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