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Some people just wanna watch the world burn, and some just wanna go home

I wish I were more like Maria, you know happy, twirling, escaping from *ssholes by hiking over the Alps.

I’ll admit it, I’m a worrier, I tend to worry about things. Hence if you remember correctly I booked over a month in advance to get home for Christmas. I laid out the journey and was fully prepared months in advance. I planned out my week dividing the chores before leaving into easily manageable things.

I worry about stuff that I even have no control over, like possible meteor showers killing me, or being abducted by govt. agencies for testing, I mean really? Why do I do that?

Then the trade unions announced they would be striking. Thing is my train is international so it wouldn’t be affected. Unless of course the cops, prison-guards, border-guards, firefighters, national trains, buses, trams, subways, cable cars, trolleys,  all public services  and EMS joined the strike. Blue flu is rare even here, despite the seeming lack of cops, and usually transport strikes are done city by city so the whole country Isn’t so paralyzed. The likelihood of that? pfff it happened one in 1980-something.Oh, and now tomorrow, the day I’m supposed to be going home can be added to that list. Oh and when did they announce it, 7 a.m. today.

"Surprise!!! Eff you and all the other people who have families outside of this sh*thole!"

So I spent the morning on hold asking if I could push back my initial train journey to Friday or push it forward to today. The helpful answer was that ‘no, I couldn’t’ and I should ‘travel on the 26th’. WOOW THANKS LADY!!!! I’ll just miss Christmas get home on the 26th then use my Delorean to go back in time and un-miss Christmas!!!!!

Run slower you say? But won't it hit me? Oh I see, you want me to screw up so I should actually do the opposite, you broken husk of a human being.

SO I checked every other means possible. Buses, out, trains out, ferry boats, car-pools, private car hire, only the airplanes are getting out, so I booked a flight. Within half an hour it was announced that airport security would partially strike and that the air traffic controllers were still mulling over striking.

" Hmm striking sounds like baseball, but it will f*ck up the season for so many, guess I'll just wait and see how many people cry first!"

Thing is, I may not know that much about aerospace, but air traffic controllers, kinda like the boss of pilots. Get rid of them and you’ve got some 747 sized, fuelled up, un-wieldy cars. Now, so far they haven’t decided to strike, so I can still potentially make it home. Although they can now decide 20 seconds before my flight to go on strike, after I pay the ridiculous cab fare to get to the airport.

Air traffic controllers are like this, but with planes and wheely chairs.

I hate this limbo. I paid for a service which was blown out of the water, and now I’ve paid for another service which will potentially be semtex-ed in the next 12 hours.

I think the moment of glory was when my boss had to change his flight to Tokyo and so did one of our colleagues, they both make a lot more than me and bitched about the inconvenience and the cost. Oh so you’re going to miss a day your family puts no stock in altogether? I’m sooo sad for you. In my family if you miss Christmas you may as well just never go home because you will be cut out of the will.

Are you motherf*cking kidding me right now????

No one has ever missed Christmas in my family. I could be the first.

As I was fighting with airport officials about my colleague’s ticket I realized how ridiculous the whole airline system is. I though to myself, if the controllers strike all the flights including mine and this guys will be cancelled. I thought, if only there were an alternate form of transport, like a train…. OH WAIT MY TRAIN WAS FUCKING CANCELLED.

I musta taken an extra strength vitamin 'duh' today.

When I got the news this morning I called up the Train company and after 60 minutes on hold I eventually got through to someone, tried to re-book or change, nothing was good. I hung up and K2 came over to my desk. I smiled what I thought was a wry smile, full of bitter acceptance. K2’s eyes got very big and she said “Are you going to cry?”

"Naw, I'm ok, I was chopping onions at my desk while calling to re-schedule my whole life, I'm A-OK!"

Now I thought I looked more ironic than tearful but apparently I have a god-awful poker face. I smiled again and said “The train was cancelled and the company said they won’t be dealing with refunds for a while, I guess I’ll have to book a plane”. At this point I realized how she made the mistake of confusing bad-ass face with cry-baby face, my voice was cracked to the point where I could barely hear it. Apparently my poker-face is ok but my voice decides to play octave gymnastics when I get anxious. I sounded like any 12yr old boy going through puberty, deep choked gasped words in between squeaky high-pitched chirrups.

Hey guys why don't you go on strike and make it official that you all hate Christmas due to Santa not bringing you that one gift. mo-fo-ing bratty children.

I gotta say folks, I’m not dealing with today well.

Silver lining, got 3 separate offers for Christmas if I don’t go home ( Thank you TallMan, Sita, and King,  I’ll be taking someone up on their offer if the worst happens).


About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

2 responses to “Some people just wanna watch the world burn, and some just wanna go home

  1. Sita

    Mine’s totes valid! You just gotta get here by Friday mid morning cuz then we leave for Turin. Or meet us there =P

  2. Sita

    I meant Saturday mid morning. Duh.

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