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I’m not in a foreign film, just a foreign firm.

Dear Blog, sorry I kinda abandoned you this week. Work has been ka-ray-zie busy. Next week I am co-presenting at a conference for entrepreneurs about to go on a training course in Japan. Oh and I have to give some students a talk about what it is we do. SO I have to figure out all the questions economics students are likely to ask me and then pretend like I didn’t have to go away and find it out. Creepy thing about these students, I told them they didn’t have t come all the way to us, we could just email, they replied “we want to meet you, and quote you”. I’m now creeped out.

Why do they want to quote me when they are going to sleep through the whole presentation?

In other news this week, people continue to ring the office, specifically me, to ask if my job is still available. Bear in mind, the deadline for my job was October 11th, and these people are still calling. Every time I get one on the phone, I work out if they’re a douche or not. Usually pretty simple, some people just say ” I know it’s a long shot but is the position still open”- easy response is to say sorry, but no. The douches call and say ” I sent you my CV this afternoon, you should hire me, I speak two languages and I went to college, I’m doubtlessly better than who you have now” to which my response is: Are you mentally slow, or just excessively arrogant? The deadline was October and you wait in mid-December regardless of the criteria and due dates and demand a job? No, get lost, I hope you stay below the poverty line for life, goodbye.

I can tell you're making duckface over the phone- QUIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I know, harsh. Somehow though even when I was super-frustrated, broke, and had been rejected from 80 jobs, I was still polite. I mean you have got to be a special type of jack-wang to be rude to your potential employer.

Anyway, off that topic, a friend of mine finds  it odd that I work for a Japanese company without speaking Japanese, she also believes that I’m working for a feudal lord who demands respect from his employers like a feudal lord. I get the feeling she may have seen Amelie Nothomb’s “Fear and Trembling”

Now the title of the film ( based on the book of the same name) is due to the law that all those in the presence of the Emperor must exhibit signs of fear and trembling. I hate to break it to you all, but working for le is not like it is depicted in the film. Briefly the film begins with a bright-eyed Amelie joining a large corporation in Japan, she starts at the lowest position in the Translation department as she is fluent in both Japanese and French. Due to various issues, the key one being a bitchy co-worker who is ‘unmarriable’ because she’s 29, she ends up being demoted. She becomes the office assisstant, and then she is demoted to cleaning lady. Instead of quitting and finding a better job, she sticks to it, because she believes that’s what a ‘real’ japanese person would do.

"Seriously though Mitch, it's not just a funny photo, I really am quitting!"

I will say this as explicitly as I can, I am part of a corporation that has 96 offices globally, we are accountable to the head office, but we are very very very far from Tokyo. They do not descend on us regularly. They leave us to do our thing. No one is forced to commit Hari Kiri if they mess up. There are no geisha in the office, we do not have ninjas on stand-by to assassinate our corporate rivals, we do not follow the code of bushido, we do not wear slipper in the office.

This is the correct office attire though....

Ok those were the basic dumb*ss questions I get asked.

My office is typical, cubicles, watercooler, coffee machine, coffee creamer, printers etc. It is not 14th Century Japan as depicted by Akira Kurosawa, stop trying to make out it is.

We do bow a lot though.



About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

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