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what’s my job?

Sometimes I do this just to see people's reactions

This afternoon I was unproductive at work today, while bragging about this to a friend of mine (known for the purposes of this as  Tall Man) this conversation occurred, it is pretty much verbatim (plus some correct punctuation)what was said by us:

TM: I still don’t understand what your office “does”.

Me: I work for a trade organisation, we look for companies interested in investing in these two countries, by either opening up shop there or selling their goods there. We also help japanese businesses set up or sell stuff here. We are basically enablers for people addicted to money

TM: Ah

Me: Our office is, however, also the heart of market research in the region, so we do market research and we need to know about laws etc. and changes to them.

TM: Can u get me free tix to Japan? I’m thinking about investing!

Me: Well, not free tickets but I could get you free office space when you’re there and help you hire staff, get the correct permits, visas, taxation waivers etc.


Me: We’re like Santa’s elves; if Santa was a giant, money-obsessed, share-index monitoring, corporate douche.

TM: Now I understand what you do.

Imagine him with a horde of accountants, researchers and PR people heeding his every beck and call and destroying his enemies, that's what my office does.

So yes, that’s what I do. It may not be very interesting, but it may explain why I am not the riveting, story imbued, cool-cat that I used to be. To be honest jobs are fine and all, but I’d much rather be doing something interesting with my life. I wish I was a space pirate, I could be an awesomer version of Han Solo. I could be a space baker, I’m pretty sure people need food in space, and I’ve never seen a thin ewok, also just cater one of Jabba’s parties and you’d be set. I could be a Nerf herder, I always like nerf guns when I was a kid, and if that’s all you need to herd Nerfs I think I’m already set.

I would be an exquisite Bobba Fett too because I would kill Jarjar before Phantom Menace, even if I wasn’t born yet!

You said it par'dner!


About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

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