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My job title just got a raise, shame my pay-check didn’t

Yesterday at work I had the most awk-inducing conversation with one of the directors. He asked me if I had 15 minutes to spare for a meeting, and I did so we went to one of the conference rooms and he began.

This is how my bosses approach my desk to talk to me.

Director: So you’ve been here a month!

Me: Actually nearly two.

Director: I don’t think so, you’ve been here a month.

Me: I started early-October.

Director: Where?

Me: … here.

Director: Oh, really? Hmm you’ve been here nearly two months.

Me *looking round the room to see if it’s some sort of set-up*

Director: So how do you think you’re doing?

Me: Well, I’m falling into a decent rhythm with the research and the communications sides and I think I’m working well with the others in the office.

Director: Do you?

Me: Er… yeah, I mean I guess I do, aren’t I?

Director: aren’t you?

Me: Er…. Yes?

Director: Ok.

*an excessively long pause followed in which we both stared at each other from either end the unnecessarily large conference room we had chosen*

"I'm totally getting fired, aren't I?"

Me: Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?

Director: Was there?

Me: Wasn’t there?

Director: There was! Have you ordered your business cards yet?

Me: No, do you want me to do that?

Director: Yes, it would be best seeing as you’ll need them for next week’s conference.

Me: Conference?

Director: The  one you and K2 will be jointly presenting at.

Me: presenting…?

Director: Yes, so we decided on your title. Communications administrator sounds wrong. So you’ll be Attaché Public Relations.

Me: What? Attaché to whom? The office? You? The Public Relations Department?

Director: Well in terms of our office you are the Public Relations Dept, I’m the Communications Dept., Yuki is the I.T. Dept, and Aki is the Accounting Dept. By the way what are you doing in February?

Me: What? It’s December 6th, how am I supposed to know?

Director: You don’t have any vacation planned?

Me: I don’t have any vacation days until I worked for the company for a minimum of a year.

Director: Oh yeah, well in February we’re sending you to a conference abroad. Ok I’m going to lunch, see you later.

Me; What? Wait, come back!!!


I’m not sure where the whole “let’s freak her out then give her good news” thing started from, but everyone seems to enjoy doing it. I wish they’d stop. My heart attacks are getting more frequent.

Anyway, I now have an impressive title at work, despite the fact I’m just a cubicle bunny. I’m attending/presenting a conference next week, and another in February. It’s all exiting in a very boring, grown-up, no carb, sensible clothing, desk-job kind of way. Which means it’s not interesting or fun, but it does have potential.

Anyway I’m not sure if that counts as bragging or blogging but yeah, I’m getting business cards!

It is indescribably lame how exited I am to get my own business cards. None of my internships ever offered me the chance to, and as my first ‘real’ job, I’m skipping around in anticipation to see my name on my card. I guess I haven’t achieved the real grown-up stage of being blazé about this stuff. Despite my glibness I’m still easily enticed by little things.

Ok, I’m off to play with my powerpoint presentation and the new highlighters that just came in.

Highlighters RAWK!!!




About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

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