Apparently everyone except me is living a life of wonder, self-expression, rainbows, travel, ponies, work-satisfaction, familial bliss, gold mines, fantastic significant others, puppies, kittens, and all-round smugness. How is it everyone else seems to be managing to live up to the ridiculously high standards of living, that we all know is actual bullshit? One person is guilty of this more than most, a girl whose mere existence makes me feel like I’m about two inches tall with buckteeth, a receding hairline, 200lbs of stomach, and the intelligence of a particularly pointy brick.
The worst part is she was a really cool chick when we hung out. Despite that, I’m starting to hate her, little by little, FB update by FB update, I am advancing to the stage where I can easily imagine eviscerating her and getting rid of her lifeless corpse. This is not healthy by any account. I mean an innocuous status update informing me that she is in San Fran until the 17th isn’t per se murder-worthy. Knowing that she was flown out there from Paris for a job interview and they are paying the return flight is a little more. Also judging by her photos since last year she spent Christmas and New Year touring round the Philippines, the late winter early spring touring Canada and the whole of the Eastern seaboard, Spring in the UK, Summer in Singapore and Portugal, oh and she lives in Paris, is ridiculously glamorous and just basically has more talent in an eyelash than I will ever have.
If it was only her I could sort of get over it, but with people doing aid work in South America, jetting off to Australia, working in Egypt, working in freaking Antarctica, safari-ing in South Africa and generally being totally awesome without me… I’m beginning to feel that there’s something excessively wrong with my life.
The most dramatic thing that has happened to me in the last month was crime, oh and yesterday I was told not to drink out of someone’s cup at work because they are super possessive, seriously, that’s my life now?
I already posted about wanting to travel so I won’t do that again. Instead, let’s discuss why I suck. Not in a depressing way, but in an objective manner. Firstly, dead-end job that I only just started. Secondly, live with my brother. Thirdly, I do 90% of the housework (cooking, cleaning, etc) while paying 50% of rent. Fourthly, live in an area that has such depressing weather that everyone is grey-skinned, grumpy, and slightly amphibious. Fifthly, I have no social life. Sixthly (wow, is that what that is?) I have no time to travel. So, 6 reasons why my life is not as great as other people’s.
Now to avoid sounding like a whiny little S.O.B 6 reasons why I should be very happy. Firstly, I’m more or less healthy, aside from my expanding girth. Secondly, I have a job in this horrific economy. Thirdly, I live with my brother who I can sorta, kinda, sometimes rely on. Fourthly, I live in a house with a roof, four walls, indoor plumbing, and a fully functioning kitchen. Fifthly, I am not constrained by a tight schedule to see all the people in my social calendar (because I don’t have one). Sixly (that seems even more correct than the previous attempt), I can improve myself, I just need to stick at it.
So now that I’m not as anti-cool people as I was at the beginning of the post, I would like to thank you, my therapists, for letting me ramble at you. You will not be charging me for these sessions as I will not be charging you for entertaining you with my angst attacks.