I booked my train trip home last night, and had the weekly call with the folks. Their super jazzed I’m coming home, makes it a little awkward being around my brother as he has a month and a half vaca, so they don’t really care he’s coming home. My sister’s break is even shorter than mine. She works for a bar that belongs to a corporate chain; they’re giving her 3 days. She’s thinking of quitting, which is what I said she should do before they even hired her.
I know some people love bar jobs. I admit, there were some perks when I did my brief stint. However the amount of puke soaked drunks, creative filth artists, and junky couples, was enough to make me never work behind a bar ever again. It’s not even as if I worked long hours; I was a part-timer a couple of afternoons a week, just some extra money during my younger college days. It was intended to fund trips, which became readily apparent that it never would as I made exactly the minimum wage of hourly work for 6 hours a day.
My only other jobs have been desk jobs, something I am eternally grateful for (in part). I have translated, edited, organized, and reported mostly. And, quite frankly, I’ve enjoyed most of it.
However, I can’t help the wanderlust that stirs my bones every now and again and makes me go “Hey, that is a pretty effing awesome idea, plagiarize it and be awesome too!” This most recent bout of pirate-travel-hobo-adventure-syndrome has been brought on by the knowledge that someone else is going to have an amazing adventure. A buddy of mine (who I shall refer to as Zorro- because that way it’s obvious to the person I’m indicating that I’m indicating them) is flying off to Australia, to live a bohemian life for six months, picking fruit and being generally a free spirited optimist. As much as I’d like to say I am glad Zorro is going to have a cool adventure, riding across the citrus groves on a camel (they do that right?) and fighting crime, wearing a cape and being a level of cool I can only strive for, I’m also possibly, maybe, a little, microscopically, slightly, more than not, a teeny tiny itty bitty bit jealous.
Yes it’s true, I’m uberly jealous. Not just because of the ability to travel and move to another country. I am. I love travelling. I love living in new places. I love not living where I’ve lived before. More than that, I’m jealous of Zorro’s ability to just say ‘ I want to go, so I’m going’, buy a ticket, get an apartment and be there in the time it takes me to put on my left shoe.
It takes courage, to go some place on your own, and just reboot your life. Despite having done it a couple of times, I always had school or college, or family to be my network of support. Zorro doesn’t have that and I’m not sure I’m that brave. For the time being, I have to hide behind my desk, I’m penniless and marketable experience-less. I’m praying it doesn’t become my security blanket and excuse for not going out there and seeing the wide world.
I have the stability of knowing that for the next year, I have a steady income and contract with this company. I am pretty sure at this early stage that I will not stay here. I appreciate the stability, but the position doesn’t seem to have any real potential to grow, and I think of myself as a plant, I’m going to need re-potting in a year.
What I’m trying to explain (to myself and to ‘yinz guys’) is this; I’m leaving as soon as I have the cash. Not because I don’t like where I am (sometimes I like it sometimes I don’t), but I don’t like stagnating. Right now I am.
And of course, Zorro, I expect to hear regular updates of your life downunder. Because if I don’t get to see you, then I at least want to hear about your catastrophic/fantastic/once in a lifetime adventures.