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Block ’em all, let Zuckerberg sort them out

A propos of the fact that I spent the last 20 minutes at work reading blogs, and then decided to check Fez-book, Today’s post shall concern Facebook overshare. I realise the irony of writing a publicly accessible document, written by a talentless hack, online, complaining about people sharing their opinions on social networking sites. It has a meta-whining quality about it.  In my defence, you came to this page to see what I had to say, whereas I went to Facebook to er…, well, anyway let me explain what it is exactly that irks me.

Well done Obi, you have successfully shown the correct way to tell someone on Facebook that stuff like that just doesn't float.

A kid I went to high-school with, who has always had severe ADHD (so much so, that he had to take gigantic doses or Ritalin just to make him tolerable), is constantly on Fb. He’s a wigger, a struggling rap/hip-hop artist, and apparently, a ladies man. I want to bludgeon him brutally so that he must eat all meals for the next 6 months through a straw. First off, this kid was the poster boy for knock off FUBU gear, I mean seriously he would wear the baggy jogging suits in highlighter green and the letters would read FUNBU. It was cheap, tacky, tasteless, and all he wore. His FB pictures tell me nothing has changed. Secondly as I said, he was and is a proud wigger, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it is a white middle class kid, with too much time on their hands, whose rebellion against Mom and Pops did not come in the form of heavy metal or punk rock. It came in the form of hip-hop. So these suburbanite, pallid children pretend to be black kids from South Central, because they have sooooooo much in common. Sadly that’s the God’s honest, it’s a thing, and it’s not going away.Also I might add, the kid lived in an area that was so white it made 1970s sitcoms look multiracial. So this kid fooled no one, except himself. Thirdly, he is a hip-hop artist now, or at least that’s what he claims, I think he’s probably unemployed and wants to pretend it’s on purpose.

He dresses like this. Flamethrower this, and everything in close proximity to it.

So ,why have I picked on this guy, well because he fills my newsfeed with inane things. ‘Illustrate your point’ I hear you cry. I shall my children, I shall. Over the past week I have been sent a good 40 requests by him, Farmville, Maffiawars, Freegifts- WTF??? I have not spoken to this guy in about nine years, and yet all the crap I get sent is piling up like a mountain of digital flyers.  It’s not as if this guy even bothers talking to me; just effing stupid requests for games I give not a flambéed, flying sh*t about. Possibly the most annoying aspect is this, in the past 3 days he has gone from “being ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single'”, and back again no fewer than 6 times- I KID YOU NOT!!!!

Are you effing kidding me? Send him to jail forever for wasting paper, ink, and peoples attention spans ಠ_ಠ

It’s one thing to be constantly sending me spam, but  have the common sense not to say you are “in a relationship” after boning some drunk chick at a kegger- please, please!!! I implore you, have some dignity, for the love of GOD!!!! What’s worse is that apparently 6 different chicks have “been in a relationship” with him in the past week, and it’s only Wednesday. Ladies, I get it, you have Daddy issues, maybe your self-esteem is at a low ebb because you put on a coupla pounds from all that pumpkin pie and candy, but seriously, this guy? He was the best you could do for a rebound? Your Daddies were right to call you ugly, and to never take you to Seaworld.

I realise that I’m using one case, and yes it’s more venting at how sick I am of seeing this crap (I’m blocking him as we speak), but he is not the only offender. This girl I know, who by the way is dumb as a rock, and went to my other High-school ( I did mention I bounced around a lot right?) posted about how she had “5 guys in one night”. Now knowing she isn’t the sharpest knife in the cutlery drawer, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, I assumed she was talking about 5 guys the burger and fried place. How wrong could I be? She corrected me by telling me that what she meant was she had sex with 5 guys from 5p.m., until about 5 a.m.

Now this girl is so dumb she wouldn’t know which way was up if you gave her six guesses. Yet when I tried to explain to her that she probably shouldn’t post stuff like that to her wall she answered that I should go to hell and that it was a private message ….. a private message, on her wall, for all to see. I also happen to know that her Mom is her Fb friend.

Sometimes I'll take vague, ambiguous even song lyrics, so that I don't need to know about your Vajazzling party!

So my point, meandering as it may be, is that you should stow that shit. Keep it under “stuff to tell the grand-kids/friends” and not enlighten the world to exactly what flavour of douchebag you truly are. Mainly because it makes me doubt the validity of allowing the human race to continue.

Thank you, I’ve been your outraged guide through overshare-posts, see you soon!

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About nemhulye

Born circa 1980 something.

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